


Alternate End

by Ashida



Series: 15 a Piece Prompt Challenge [16]
Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Angst without a happy ending, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 18:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5101163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashida/pseuds/Ashida
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Accept the things you cannot change, change the things you cannot accept."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alternate End

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a collection of 15 prompts given to me by [Hiro.](http://archiveofourown.org/users/oninoshirosaki)  
> The prompt for this fic is [#93:acceptance](http://insane-1.deviantart.com/art/200-Writing-Challenge-68163506)
> 
> You can also pair this with my fic,[Let Go, Control.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3277085) which is where I drew inspiration for this from.

Alternate End

 

Asami was home late again; the latest mess was a task in itself to clean up, dead men, new enemies, the healing bullet wound in his side and a traumatized Akihito.

 

Life in general had been in a grey lull as he tried to fix things, like brewing tension that said something had to snap soon.

 

And he knew the moment he set foot in the condo that that something had snapped.

 

It was empty, eerie and dark with a hollowness to it that was like visiting a distant memory.

 

Akihito wasn’t here.

 

Maybe he’d thrown another one of his self righteous fits and decided he needed some space to sort it out on his own, maybe he’d packed a few things and gone home for the weekend to get drunk on cheap sake to come back fully charged, maybe he was out trying to find a hopeless story in order to make himself feel better.

 

Maybe it was worse than all those things. Maybe he’d run this time for sure, too scared and too scarred from all the things he’d seen.

 

If it was the latter, Asami could do nothing but catch him and help him through it like he always would.

 

Asami couldn’t put it together though, there were a few things of Akihito’s scattered here and there like he’d be back to clean them up whenever he came home, but then he noticed the cameras gone and phone chargers taken, and, upon coming into the kitchen to check if one of those cheap bottles of sake was still in the cupboard; he found a tidy piece of paper sitting on the kitchen bench.

 

Instantly Asami knew this was not like all the other times, Akihito had never written a letter before. He’d never written Asami anything but rushed text messages and emails telling him to stop being nosy.

 

This bit of paper with a pen still next to it on the bench glowed from the light streaming in outside, even from here he could see his name written in boyish writing at the top in an attempt of formality.

 

He didn’t even notice Kirishima appear in the doorway as he took a step forward, nor Suoh behind him.

 

There was something too final about letters, especially with his last name scrawled across the top. Asami was almost tempted to leave it, to pretend he’d never seen it, and that it would just be a bit of paper full of useless ramblings that Akihito sometimes left lying around.

 

But, if Akihito had gone through the trouble of writing him something, then Asami owed it to him to read it at least.

 

In silence with his two best men at his back, the paper whispered as he picked it up from the bench.

 

_Asami,_

_I don’t know where to start, I’m not good with words and I’ve never been able to be straight with you, ever, but there’s a first time for everything, right?_

_Anyway, here goes nothing._

_This can’t keep happening, Asami._

_One of us needs to be strong enough to walk away, but I never thought it would end up being me. Yet here I am with this pen and paper, fighting back the tears and hoping like hell you don’t come home as I’m writing this, even though I know you wont, cos this last time gave you more trouble than what it was worth, than what we’re worth, and you’re still out there dealing with it._

_The thing is, I’d do anything for you, Asami, I’m angry because I can’t help, and fucking bitter that this is the one thing I can do, and even though it’s shit, it’s enough for me to justify this._

_I’m not stupid, I know nothing lasts forever, especially the way we’re going now. Every time something happens you put me first, and as stupid as I sound right now, cos what other half wouldn’t want that; you shouldn’t do that._

_You’re all about protecting me or whatever, and I’m grateful for it, but this last time I realized something. How many times can you do it and come out unscathed? I dunno. But you can’t keep promises of improbability, Asami._

_That’s why I’m gonna walk away now before the inevitable. I’m your biggest weakness, but you, you are my biggest strength, and this alternate ending is something I’m capable of giving you at least._

_Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I want to go, I will probably even miss you, goodness knows I’ll never have another lay as good as you, and I know I won’t find an adrenaline rush anywhere like the one you can give me. But like I said; I’d do anything for you. Including this._

_Hopefully you don’t do your ‘to the ends of the abyss’ bull shit and come after me, I reckon I’ve done a good enough job of covering my tracks for you, and your enemies, to not be able to find me, even if there’s a small part of me that’d like you to catch me like you usually do._

_I’m not strong enough to walk away a second time, Asami. This is hard enough as it is. If I end up back there with you it will just turn into the same cycle all over again._

_There’s this dumb saying that some people post on their face book pages along with a bunch of other bogus inspirational quotes._

_“Accept the things you cannot change, and change the things you can’t accept.”_

_I always thought it was stupid, still do, but I understand it now at least._

_I don’t want to change you, I know you wouldn’t anyway, and your fate that goes with me being there would remain unchanged, too. That is something I can change._

_You’ll die one day anyway, but not for me, not because of me, anything but that. You’ve put me through a ton of shit, and I forgive you for it, but you dying on me is not something I’d ever let go of._

_It’s been good apart from all the gun fights and kidnappings and shit though, I’ll give you that. I feel like maybe I started to figure you out a bit, or maybe it was just wishful thinking. It might be better if I didn’t know, huh?_

_All I can say is live, live and be strong, get a hobby or something, collect stamps with Kirishima, or give up smoking, it might help pass the time._

_Oh, you could take up stargazing, maybe sometimes we’ll be looking at them at the same moment, and I’ll think of you when I look at the sky._

_I’ll get over it one day, maybe, the fact that I was such a glaring weakness in your armor. Kinda cool to know I’m the one doing the protecting this time around though._

_As much as this sucks, this is the best thing for you, life’s not fair and that’s what makes it fair, and I know I’m throwing your own words back at you, but I get what they mean now. Maybe with distance I’ll learn to understand you more too._

_Besides, it’s not like we wont see each other again anyway._

_We’ll end up at the same place, we’re just not taking the same path to get there, and I'm okay with that._

_So, this is it, Asami._

 

_I’ll see you again in the abyss one day._

_Love probably always,_

_Akihito_

Maybe it was pride welling up in his eyes, Asami thought, maybe it was loss or confusion.

 

“Asami sama, do you want me to send out-

 

“No, Kei. It’s fine.” He shut his eyes with a breath. Akihito was right.“He’s just strong enough to do what I couldn’t.”

 

No, the sting in his eyes was acceptance of his own.

 

 


End file.
